two weeks already, finally getting to paper and pen. the first week was the hardest of my life. not much food, not much sleep. nerve-wrecking wind. once on course, recovery. then what truly defines the passage began: what you do with the time and space? so easy to future-trip. make grand plans for once you're back ashore. missing family and friends like never before. never felt so far away. perhaps they are the ones that are far away, and i am closer. an attachment being stretched, nothing more. at first, anything ashore is grouped together as one single thing i long to be reunited with, attachments i feel. on this passage, i have a satelite phone! i am able to stay connected a bit more to friends and family. in this way, i have sperated the human connections from the other societal based comforts. i can allow my human connections to exist, so i can confront my attachments to these societal comforts. it's not easy for me. i had become so used to being paid well for not working very hard, buying things with my money, aware of the cycle I was stuck in, but stuck nonetheless, and still struggling to break free entirely, but little by little, I am making progress. this passage has allowed me to distinguish between my attachment to human connections, and my attachment to the old world.
I desire and need human connections, even as i learn to connect to the source more and more.
i am detaching from the old world.
