Sunday, December 30, 2012

Passage: Hawaii to Marshall Islands. Day 14

12-30-12  day 14  HI to RMI
two weeks already, finally getting to paper and pen.  the first week was the hardest of my life.  not much food, not much sleep.  nerve-wrecking wind.  once on course, recovery.  then what truly defines the passage began: what you do with the time and space?  so easy to future-trip.  make grand plans for once you're back ashore.  missing family and friends like never before.  never felt so far away.  perhaps they are the ones that are far away, and i am closer.  an attachment being stretched, nothing more.  at first, anything ashore is grouped together as one single thing i long to be reunited with, attachments i feel.  on this passage, i have a satelite phone!  i am able to stay connected a bit more to friends and family.  in this way, i have sperated the human connections from the other societal based comforts.  i can allow my human connections to exist, so i can confront my attachments to these societal comforts.  it's not easy for me.  i had become so used to being paid well for not working very hard, buying things with my money, aware of the cycle I was stuck in, but stuck nonetheless, and still struggling to break free entirely, but little by little, I am making progress.  this passage has allowed me to distinguish between my attachment to human connections, and my attachment to the old world.
I desire and need human connections, even as i learn to connect to the source more and more.
i am detaching from the old world.